by Karon Thackston
In Part 1 of this article series we discovered the challenge faced by the copy of Julie's Jewels Moissanite page. The original copy was too factual for visitors to relate to effectively. I outlined the problems and the proposed solutions. Let's continue as I show you the rewrite and the results.
The Rewrite
Building excitement about Moissanite jewelry was a primary goal during the rewrite. These stones needed to be positioned above other manmade gems such as cubic zirconia. Their special qualities had to be brought to light while also evoking emotions that are associated with buying something rare, exclusive and truly exceptional.
I chose words and phrases including "spoiled for anything else," "alluring" and "wonder."
However, affordability also needed to be conveyed -- but without discounting the perceived and actual value of the stone. To accomplish this, I included mentions of how affordable Moissanite stones are along with verbiage describing the clarity, quality and excellence of these jewels.
You can view the revised copy (PDF) here.
In addition, Julie's Jewels faces some stiff competition from national retailers and other sites that carry Moissanite. There was really only one main phrase the page needed to be optimized for. The challenge with that, however, was using the term enough to make an impact with the engines, but not so much as to sound odd because of too much repetition.
The Headline
A huge change took place with the headline. The original headline was created with no appeal to the site visitor. Likely used strictly for navigation and search engine optimization (SEO) purposes, it merely listed the name of the page. The use of the simple term "Moissanite Jewelry" was replaced with a headline that clearly stated the primary benefit of this product:
